Religion

Hmm... just a thought.
A while ago we went to an anticipated mass because I can't go to mass tomorrow since I'll be going somewhere.

 I just had a thought regarding the priest, it's like he's more of telling people what to do and he's pointing out imperfections of people. Maybe it's the way he delivered it, that I do not like. I probably prefer it if priests would rather inspire than pin-point wrong doings and tell people what to do. To me, it appears as if they are trying to... threaten us with fear? I'm sorry I can't describe it in other words... Well something like that. Instead of asking people to look into themselves, analyze what they feel about God, they just state all wrongdoings of people and... tell them to do otherwise. I don't get it in some way.

This is probably the downside of my religion, the priests who are not really that sincere of what they are doing. I don't think he is sincere. I do believe in God, but what these people preach is probably another story. It just irritates me that there are a lot of inconsistencies going around my religion. 

I believe that a person must also be equipped with spirituality; of what one values and live life with. However, I can't really feel this community as a whole. I can't feel it. It is probably one of the reason, why I am easily shaken and lost. The religion I grew up to seems off. It's like, they teach me about it but there aren't any words or message that strongly left a mark in me. Something is missing.

I really am thankful to our in-house review because that is where it was clear to me. God became clear to me and honestly I really believe in Him. Though in terms of the whole Catholic thing, I'm not going to be firm about it.  I know it is nice to have a great Catholic community (I am a 'fan' of the idea of working together, teamwork and stuff related to groups with bonds) , but still... I am lost. Probably the best thing that happened to me as a Catholic is that I was introduced to God. 

But don't get me wrong, I do not have the idea of changing my religion. Like I've said, I believe in God, and He's the one thing that's keeping me on my ground. I've known Him here, so I'll bear with all the inconsistencies. I will go to Church and pray to thank Him, I'll lift up my burden to Him, and I'll beg for His mercy.

The other beliefs and values of my life, I think it's going to be up to me to weigh those.

I prefer to define them personally.

I guess this is just it. The way I define my religion.